People think I'm joking when I tell them that I haven't slept in 7 years. While it sounds funny it is partially true. Just when things were looking up and I was getting more sleep Little Ray number 1 was cloned and now I have the Littlest Ray (number 3).
For days and days I've hardly slept. Screamed filled nights, children filled bed and spinning mummy's head.
Last night I did not even get to lay my head down on my pillow before Littlest Ray awoke for the night. She is baby number three so I know all the tricks in the book that are suppose to help babies sleep, but sometimes they just don't work.
While listening to her screams, then holding her while she fought me, I thought of how I long for rest, the selfish side of me angry, dissapointed and exhausted and then the thought "what can I learn from Littlest Ray in the Darkness of Night". My mind quickly turned to Heavenly Father, while I was trying so hard to settle her and not being able to consol her through any means I caught a glimpse of how our Father in Heaven may have felt on that most sacred of days when our Saviour offered himself a sacrifice for sin, when despite all His power Heavenly Father was unable to allow Himself to assist His Son through this time of uncomprehendible pain. I thought that maybe He felt helpless as I did, His heart ached as mine was aching. Then a beautiful sweet reassurance through the screaming. I once again was able to see how much Heavenly Father loves each of us. He wants us to be with Him again so He painfully, but willingly let Christ die so we can be with Him again.
Thank you Littlest Ray to help me reaffirm this testimony and thanks to my Father in Heaven to help me get through each trial and for my Saviour who sacraficed himself for me and the beautiful gift of the Holy Ghost that can speak peace to our souls no matter how dark the night.